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? One star, because zero isn’t available THE GODFATHER 4: TAILOR FINAL BOSS ANDY Three of five wedding suits were wrong, giving Dyfed Menswear a 60% failure rate. At our first fitting, Phil rushed the measurements and decided our trousers should sit practically at chest height. The full Simon Cowell. Another few inches and they could have doubled as strapless jumpsuits. With one week until the wedding, three suits needed replacement items. Two days before the wedding, I repeatedly chased the shop before collecting my replacement suit. I wasn’t offered the chance to try it on. The next day, I discovered the waistcoat was so tight that the stitching appeared to be negotiating its release from the fabric. Natasha, the manager, promised to call me back but didn’t, so I drove across Bristol. She maintained the measurements were correct until Philippa found my previous waistcoat, revealing an approximate two-inch difference. When challenged, Natasha blamed Head Office, laughed, said, “I can’t deal with this,” walked away muttering and slammed the door. Philippa deserves credit for finding a solution. The groom later called Natasha. According to him, she laughed and hung up. Then came Tailor Final Boss Andy. When the groom returned the suits, Andy reportedly said: “Your mate better watch himself, talking to my wife like that.” Natasha is his wife. We expected wedding suits. We didn’t expect The Godfather 4.